Assignment 1
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Assignment 1 Directions
Below are the steps for Assignment 1.
Think of a recent event and run through the following steps.
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having.
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling.
2. Distinguish between the meaning and the events.
4. Notice how the feeling has changed.
5. Post your results of this exercise whether you think it was successful or not below.
{ 714 comments… read them below or add one }
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What actually happened was that I left the kettle on for my son to make his tea, reminded him and went out. When I came back I saw the kettle blackened and horrible. I felt furious. What disrespect! How callous! He won’t restore thus he doesn’t care. I felt so cross that I was equally furiously looking for beliefs that had set this off. Found one – I’m not respected.
The process of getting alternative explanations just had a magical calm-down effect.
Jackie
My event is something what happens quite often to me but I started to recognize it intensively just recently. It is really bothering me. I really try hard to become a open-hearted person, see in everyone the good, smile, help, give etc. But I meet people who are acting strange after they met me once and thats hurting me because I know they are my mirrors, people who belong in scenes which I created, my illusions. So when I distinguish between the meaning and the events I know I can’t force anything you can’t force love or beeing good. What tells me that I have to work on my conscience scale perhaps my whole life long.
But you know what there will be a time wherewe will understand and all our efforts trying to change, beeing aware of our awakening will show us the seed, the big picture. Love and the wisdom of knowing will make me walk my lifelong without loosing the HOPE.
In Love,
Sibel
It’s great.
1: I feel faith but scared, that it runs away.
2: Hope something happens suddenly out of nowhere.
3: Actually, I feel tyred, must go to sleep, but anxious watching this video.
4: I will take the decition to sleep, after the video finishes.
1. i felt bad and wanted to cry when my oldest child did not want to talk to me and closed the door in my face.
2. the meaning i put on this situation was that i had done something wrong and he was annoyed with me
3. the event was that he did not want to talk to me and closed himself in his room – the feeling i had was bad, sad.
4. the feeling changed completely and i could decide to let it all go until i could speak to him again and find out truly what he was feeling and doing when he didn’t want to talk. i did get the chance later in the day to ask him, “i was just curious about what you were thinking and feeling when you didn’t want to talk?” He told me, “i am so busy at work i just need some down time when i get home. i really don’t want to be around anyone after i’ve worked around so many needy people for 8 hours.”
5. my results were awesome!! my negative feelings completely dissolved when i looked at it as just an event with no meaning. waiting to find out what the true meaning of the event really was showed me that he simply needed to kick back and unwind from work – he still loves me very much but just needed time alone from a busy day. this is a great process for me! Thank you very much Morty!!
A few weeks back I was looking to explore options to set up an online business and learn more about this.
1. I was frustrated, confused and was alittle fearful
2. The meaning which was creating these feelings were that I have not been successful at this before and I am not capable of doing this and it is too complicated for me and I would not have time for this and so on.
3. The event was simple. I was looking to learn and explore options for setting up an online business. The meanings I was giving it as above were that this would not work and I am a failure at things and so on. I was clearly able to distinguish between these two.
4. The feeling I had now was one of strength and wanting to do things. I was excited about learning and creating something.
There are people at work that like to “push” my buttons, by saying things or just facial expressions and body language. I felt isolated and even angry. The meaning was that I am not like by these co-workers. Now by doing the Occurrence process I seperate what I “see” and the meaning I gave. I could very well be that they don’t like me but it doesn’t mean everyone won’t like me or that I just am so much a people pleaser that I expect a different response from them, I can only control my meaning so the feelings changed. This really works. Amazing
1. Just recently about a few years ago, I began to get into internet entrepreneurship and Real Estate Investment. I lost my job after 9 years.
2. I had the feeling that I would be lost and wouldn’t know what to do. I felt that I wouldn’t be able to provide for my family.
3. The meaning of the events to me was; where would I get ideas and how could I compete? How good could I be?
4. The feeling has changed now, because all the great people that I have been exposed to while never meeting them. This has given me a new perspective, but the feeling keeps coming back through events that are not satisfying to where I want to be and who I want to become.
5. I see results in events that present themselves, but I would like to always be clear and notice them on an instant.
1. Last night at dinner, my son asked about an aspect of the meal I had prepared and was hesitant to eat – it angered and upset me.
2. I assigned it this meaning: my son doesn’t appreciate what I do for him and will find something to complain about everything. I took it personally.
3. The actual event was this: all he did was ask me why one particular aspect of the meal was a certain way.
4. Here’s how the feeling has changed: no more anger or hurt. My son asked me a question, and there was nothing in that question to state he was complaining except the meaning I gave that question. All I had to do was to answer it calmly and smile.
I was in a course with the teacher and 2 other students. I was feeling sad, bad, something was wrong.
When I got home, I was able to identify that I was feeling inadequate. Not good enough.
The next day, I told my teacher that it was her fault (in a joking way), she was TOO POSITIVE and the other students were TOO GOOD at what they were doing. I was able to see that I had been comparing myself to them. I wasn’t positive enough and I wasn’t able to perform as well as the other students, yet.
I had questioned those thoughts and I saw that those came from my mother telling me “I should be more like everybody else”.
The feelings dissolved when i noticed I was just recreating ” I should be more like everybody else “
I have been wanting to write a book and have a home business for so long like others did not think I would be good enough no one will want to read my book its a silly idea the home business no one will be interested I have no skills so I put the negative thoughts out and have been teaching myself and getting help from friends and family learning more computer skills I am on my way to both Home Business and a Book. The computer is amazing.
It definitely works. I would like it to be automatic
My friend left me a message.”Call Me right away.”
I gave meaning that his tone of voice showed he was upset at me or had some really bad news to give me.
I immediately had a pit in the middle of my stomach. As soon as I recognized what experience I had created for myself, I immediately separated the event from the meaning I gave, and the feeling of dread subsided. I was then able to feel more a sense of neutrality about the phone call.
In a retirement conversation my wife and I just had, she stated that she felt lonely.
1—–I began to feel frustration, impatience, fear and anger.
2—–The meaning I was giving to her statement was: All I’ve done to make her happy isn’t enough. What else can I do? Will she leave me? I don’t experience loneliness, how can she possibly be lonely. Maybe it is because I havn’t made enough money for the retirement she wants. Does this mean we will have to move to the city? If she feels lonely now will she still be lonely somewhere else. Am I turning into an old “goat” that is not enough for her? Is our close friendship dieing. I don’t know what to do.
3—–I now see a difference between her statement and the meaning I was giving her statement.
4—–My feelings of frustration, impatience, fear and anger dramatically decresed.
5—–I did NOT “shut down” as sometimes happens and I feel open and positive to understanding and exploring her needs.
P.S. I am very interested in a scholarship and learning more. Your materials are really helping me.
Although I have 3 friends for various reasons they are umable to spend time with me and there are lots of times when I am on my own when I want to be out meeting people. So tonight I am going out to a social gathering on my own. Which brings up a negative feeling of: I’m shy, no-one will talk to me, it will be another let down, I am not a good enough person. Whereas it is just an event. I can go. At least I will have tried. It might be much better than I expect. How will I know unless I go. If it is awful I will deal with it but it won’t be my fault. At the very least I will think well of myself for trying.
Recent event that produced negative feelings: I heard a married couple who are in my inner circle arguing.
1. The negative feelings I had: fear, anxiety, a tendency to blame.
2. The meaning that produced the feeling: There is disharmony in the relationship that will lead to a break down or a break up.
3. The reality was I heard two people arguing and being short with each other. The meaning I gave the event caused my negative feelings.
4. After making the distinction I feel that I overreacted to a situation that has no inherent meaning and that I have no control over.
5. I think the exercise was successful in dissolving the negative feelings. I am eager to learn all the techniques in the course. Please award the scholarship to me.
A friend repeatedly told me she believes we no longer need to “process” in life the way we used to think we have to. I felt excited to talk about my recent experiences about wanted to investigate my belief more and also fels sad that I hesistated in communicating this because I think she will disapprove and it will cause friction between us. Because of my assumptions I did not give myself a chance to communicate, nor did I give her a chance. My feelings of sadness are greater now because more “occurring thoughts are arising.” OK. Let go and be here with my fingers on the keyboard. The rest is simply mind chatter.
The Event – My Girlfriend got really angry at me while we were both making dinner when I kept asking her how she would like me to do things after she had told me at least 5 times before that I could do them how ever I wanted.
1. I felt anxious, tight around the heart area and angry.
2. The meanings that produced the feelings were I’m stupid for not listening and just doing my own way, I can’t retain information that is told to me, I’m can’t think for myself, I’m not appreciated for the help that I do give and finally nothing I do is ever right!
3. It was just her getting mad over me asking her what to do (for the 5th time) and not living up to way she expected me to help out making dinner.
4. I feel more clarity over situation now. Although It seems like ‘I don’t listen’ to what she has told me, I know that this is not true in other areas of my life. I’m not stupid and I can take in information easily! So this is really just a one off scenario where these things happened. It doesn’t mean I’m always like that. Also I somehow feel better saying to myself ‘I’m only human!’ and I’m always interested in the truth rather than being right and stuck in any situation.
5. I feel like this has definitely helped me in feeling detached from the event which is great! I’m not 100% sure I followed the correct procedure but I feel a lot better now!
THANKS!!
Gill
After watching your video I took some time looking at my feelings over something that is to occur today. I realized, after using your technique, that it is my fear of what might occur and creating outcomes for something that hasn’t even occurred yet, I was just drowning myself in stress and fear. After really looking at the situation to come, after using your method, I see it quiet differently now. I know it is coming and I know what it is, now I am no longer placing created fears and worries on top of it and hope to experience it as it is.
Unfortunately, for me the process does not work. But I assume the event that caused my negative feelings is quite specific. The result of that situation/event is a ” tangible fact” and I struggle to find a different, more comforting meaning than the “factual” one.
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