Comments on: Assignment 1 http://occurringcourse.com Change Your Emotions On The Spot Fri, 11 May 2012 20:45:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Martine http://occurringcourse.com/assignment-1/comment-page-11/#comment-1945 Martine Wed, 02 May 2012 00:24:21 +0000 http://occurringcourse.com/?page_id=271#comment-1945 Think of a recent event and run through the following steps. 1. Notice the negative feeling you are having. Anxious, mad at myself 2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling. I should be able to decide & know what I want. I'm always having a hard time to choose what to do & just do it. 3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events. Meaning: I'm not capable, which is such a negative belief Event: Choosing a house, which is exciting, fun if you're curious like me. No reason to rush, I'll know when I find what I want 4. Notice how the feeling has changed. Very much so from beating myself up to excitement & fun depending on my meaning versus other's expectations or my own demanding expectation Think of a recent event and run through the following steps.

1. Notice the negative feeling you are having.
Anxious, mad at myself

2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling.
I should be able to decide & know what I want. I’m always having a hard time to choose what to do & just do it.

3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events.
Meaning: I’m not capable, which is such a negative belief
Event: Choosing a house, which is exciting, fun if you’re curious like me. No reason to rush, I’ll know when I find what I want
4. Notice how the feeling has changed.
Very much so from beating myself up to excitement & fun depending on my meaning versus other’s expectations or my own demanding expectation

]]> By: Nette http://occurringcourse.com/assignment-1/comment-page-11/#comment-1937 Nette Mon, 30 Apr 2012 00:40:55 +0000 http://occurringcourse.com/?page_id=271#comment-1937 Think of a recent event and run through the following steps. Recently my Mum was ill and in hospital. I had been visiting the hospital every day, dealing with doctors and I was generally very stressed with the worry over mum’s condition. Finally, things were settling down a bit, so I took the morning off and went to my yoga class. Aaah! As I was leaving, my phone rang and it was my brother. He came on the phone yelling at me, “What are we going to do about Mum?” – no hello, how are you?, how are you bearing up?, just straight into the yelling. I told him what was happening and he started going into all sorts of scaremonger scenarios of what her future may hold. I asked him to stop talking like that or I’d hang up. He continued. I asked him again. He continued. I told him that if he didn’t stop NOW I would hang up. He continued. I hung up. Since then, he has avoided me, not answered any of my messages and has generally cut himself off from me. 1. Notice the negative feeling you are having. I feel so very hurt. I feel left out and cut off. I also feel angry that he attacked me and even after I told him what would happen if he continued, that he did continue with the same behaviour. And that now he is ostracising me because of his own bad behaviour. But mostly I feel really hurt. 2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling. The meaning for me is “I am attacked”, “I am unappreciated”, “I am overwhelmed with the responsibility of looking after Mum’s needs”, “I am unsupported” 3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events. The event was that my brother called to say that he was concerned about Mum’s wellbeing. The meaning I gave it was that he was telling me that I wasn’t doing enough. That I’m not good enough. That I should be doing more. 4. Notice how the feeling has changed. The connotations I have been putting on this situation is that my brother is not speaking to me because I hung up the phone. The truth is probably more that he is busy with work. He is worried about Mum. He feels guilty because he can’t do more for her (because of his location and work commitments) and that all of this has nothing to do with me or my actions. Having done this process I feel much more calm and I am able to view the events impartially. I can see now that his reaction was from his own fears and concerns about Mum. Think of a recent event and run through the following steps.
Recently my Mum was ill and in hospital. I had been visiting the hospital every day, dealing with doctors and I was generally very stressed with the worry over mum’s condition. Finally, things were settling down a bit, so I took the morning off and went to my yoga class. Aaah!
As I was leaving, my phone rang and it was my brother. He came on the phone yelling at me, “What are we going to do about Mum?” – no hello, how are you?, how are you bearing up?, just straight into the yelling. I told him what was happening and he started going into all sorts of scaremonger scenarios of what her future may hold. I asked him to stop talking like that or I’d hang up. He continued. I asked him again. He continued. I told him that if he didn’t stop NOW I would hang up. He continued. I hung up.
Since then, he has avoided me, not answered any of my messages and has generally cut himself off from me.
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having.
I feel so very hurt. I feel left out and cut off. I also feel angry that he attacked me and even after I told him what would happen if he continued, that he did continue with the same behaviour. And that now he is ostracising me because of his own bad behaviour. But mostly I feel really hurt.
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling.
The meaning for me is “I am attacked”, “I am unappreciated”, “I am overwhelmed with the responsibility of looking after Mum’s needs”, “I am unsupported”
3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events.
The event was that my brother called to say that he was concerned about Mum’s wellbeing. The meaning I gave it was that he was telling me that I wasn’t doing enough. That I’m not good enough. That I should be doing more.
4. Notice how the feeling has changed.
The connotations I have been putting on this situation is that my brother is not speaking to me because I hung up the phone. The truth is probably more that he is busy with work. He is worried about Mum. He feels guilty because he can’t do more for her (because of his location and work commitments) and that all of this has nothing to do with me or my actions.
Having done this process I feel much more calm and I am able to view the events impartially. I can see now that his reaction was from his own fears and concerns about Mum.

]]> By: Cindy http://occurringcourse.com/assignment-1/comment-page-11/#comment-1935 Cindy Sun, 29 Apr 2012 19:32:17 +0000 http://occurringcourse.com/?page_id=271#comment-1935 1. Feelings: angry, frustrated, anxious 2. She doesn't respect me; she thinks she is exempt from this; he will take her side; my job is in jeopardy; she is ignoring the rules; she is wasting my time. 3. I conceptually realize not everyone would feel the same way or think the same things. I can get a glimmer that my feelings and meanings are not inherent in her actions. BUT I still have difficulty seeing that there could be any other meanings FOR ME. 4. I still WANT to be angry because I don't like what she did. It's hard to accept that my anger won't change anything (at least, not for the better!). But, I don't like that my feelings about that incident are poisoning my free time, and it's only ME making it happen. 5. I have put some distance between the event, my feelings, and my meanings. I am also putting more distance between me and my feelings and meanings. Thus, my feelings and meanings aren't inherent in me either; they are something I feel and think, NOT something that I "am" which would be unchangeable and keep me stuck. I am feeling more positive not only about the situation, but my ability to live life more "lightly" and increase my peace and enjoyment. 1. Feelings: angry, frustrated, anxious
2. She doesn’t respect me; she thinks she is exempt from this; he will take her side; my job is in jeopardy; she is ignoring the rules; she is wasting my time.
3. I conceptually realize not everyone would feel the same way or think the same things. I can get a glimmer that my feelings and meanings are not inherent in her actions. BUT I still have difficulty seeing that there could be any other meanings FOR ME.
4. I still WANT to be angry because I don’t like what she did. It’s hard to accept that my anger won’t change anything (at least, not for the better!). But, I don’t like that my feelings about that incident are poisoning my free time, and it’s only ME making it happen.
5. I have put some distance between the event, my feelings, and my meanings. I am also putting more distance between me and my feelings and meanings. Thus, my feelings and meanings aren’t inherent in me either; they are something I feel and think, NOT something that I “am” which would be unchangeable and keep me stuck.

I am feeling more positive not only about the situation, but my ability to live life more “lightly” and increase my peace and enjoyment.

]]> By: Benjamin Parry http://occurringcourse.com/assignment-1/comment-page-11/#comment-1932 Benjamin Parry Sun, 29 Apr 2012 01:02:23 +0000 http://occurringcourse.com/?page_id=271#comment-1932 1. I had been meaning to phone up a friend for a while and each time i put it off there was building up a bigger nervous anxiety around making the call. 2. The meaning was coming from this idea that its been so long since i've spoken to him already he probably doesn't want to hear from me anyway, I'm not worth talking to 3. The event would be dialing the number and speaking to friend, asking questions and responding to words - the meaning is only coming from my end and doesn't have any real truth to the pure events 4. I feel a lot more open and expanded about making the call - I actually just did it and there was no anxiety and I was actually pleased when he answered and there was nothing in the way of our conversation, it was just fun. I do still feel a tiny faint, deep anxiety when i think about it with a few other people but it doesn't feel like the same issue. 5. Well it made it easy for me to act, carry out the pure events without all the baggage i was trying to load onto it so yes- worked for me 1. I had been meaning to phone up a friend for a while and each time i put it off there was building up a bigger nervous anxiety around making the call.

2. The meaning was coming from this idea that its been so long since i’ve spoken to him already he probably doesn’t want to hear from me anyway, I’m not worth talking to

3. The event would be dialing the number and speaking to friend, asking questions and responding to words – the meaning is only coming from my end and doesn’t have any real truth to the pure events

4. I feel a lot more open and expanded about making the call – I actually just did it and there was no anxiety and I was actually pleased when he answered and there was nothing in the way of our conversation, it was just fun. I do still feel a tiny faint, deep anxiety when i think about it with a few other people but it doesn’t feel like the same issue.

5. Well it made it easy for me to act, carry out the pure events without all the baggage i was trying to load onto it so yes- worked for me

]]> By: Kat http://occurringcourse.com/assignment-1/comment-page-11/#comment-1926 Kat Fri, 27 Apr 2012 15:23:11 +0000 http://occurringcourse.com/?page_id=271#comment-1926 1. Negative feelings: anger, frustration, panic, despair, fear 2. Meaning: Nobody cares about me, nothing ever works out 3. Event: a company delivered poor customer service in dealing with medical benefits: Meaning: I personalized their actions 4. How the feeling has changed: I recognize their incompetence has nothing to do with me personally so I feel lighter because I can release the negative feelings. 1. Negative feelings: anger, frustration, panic, despair, fear
2. Meaning: Nobody cares about me, nothing ever works out
3. Event: a company delivered poor customer service in dealing with medical benefits: Meaning: I personalized their actions
4. How the feeling has changed: I recognize their incompetence has nothing to do with me personally so I feel lighter because I can release the negative feelings.

]]> By: Ilyas http://occurringcourse.com/assignment-1/comment-page-11/#comment-1923 Ilyas Fri, 27 Apr 2012 07:02:36 +0000 http://occurringcourse.com/?page_id=271#comment-1923 Event: Moving from Ecuador to USA. 1. Negative feeling: Frustration, desesperation, hopelessness, lack of self value, felt discrimination, limited. 2. Meaning: I am not valued as before, new culture is hostile to me, it is difficult to adapt, I am alone, I cannot survive here, I have to fight to live, life is difficult, people in USA are not interested in me. 3. Distinguish between meaning and events: This is part of the transitional process, people here are busy taking care of themselves as I am doing. Adaptation needs time and it can be painfull and stressing, Imoved from a familiar environment to unfamiliar one. It is new experience. 5. Results I think this process is working very well for me. Event: Moving from Ecuador to USA.
1. Negative feeling: Frustration, desesperation, hopelessness, lack of self value, felt discrimination, limited.
2. Meaning: I am not valued as before, new culture is hostile to me, it is difficult to adapt, I am alone, I cannot survive here, I have to fight to live, life is difficult, people in USA are not interested in me.
3. Distinguish between meaning and events: This is part of the transitional process, people here are busy taking care of themselves as I am doing. Adaptation needs time and it can be painfull and stressing, Imoved from a familiar environment to unfamiliar one. It is new experience.
5. Results I think this process is working very well for me.

]]> By: Carol http://occurringcourse.com/assignment-1/comment-page-11/#comment-1919 Carol Thu, 26 Apr 2012 04:44:11 +0000 http://occurringcourse.com/?page_id=271#comment-1919 OK, this is the 2nd time doing this to get the results Think of a recent event and run through the following steps. A nice man I like makes passes 1. Notice the negative feeling you are having. scared, resistant, stressed – anxiety -nervous 2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling. he’s probably lying; he’s probably a Casanova; I remember the past experiences ; he won’t really want me because I’m really aging and not as pretty as I used to be; I don’t know how to re-act; I'm afraid if I get involved he will abandon me 3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events. he is letting me know he likes me & is interested in pursuing a relationship with me. 4. Notice how the feeling has changed. I'm a little more at ease ; It's me who is judging me and am so hard on myself ; I am the way I am and this is it and I'm still attractive too ; beauty is within - and I see his beauty within and that is important to me ( good compassionate , humorous ) ; I think the thing to do is to just enjoy the moment and see where it goes / let all the past stay in the past /let the assumptions & illusions go 5. Post your results of this exercise whether you think it was successful or not below. still not sure if I'm complete , but definitely see the distinctions clearly OK, this is the 2nd time doing this to get the results

Think of a recent event and run through the following steps.
A nice man I like makes passes

1. Notice the negative feeling you are having.
scared, resistant, stressed – anxiety -nervous
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling.
he’s probably lying; he’s probably a Casanova; I remember the past experiences ; he won’t really want me because I’m really aging and not as pretty as I used to be; I don’t know how to re-act; I’m afraid if I get involved he will abandon me

3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events.
he is letting me know he likes me & is interested in pursuing a relationship with me.

4. Notice how the feeling has changed.
I’m a little more at ease ; It’s me who is judging me and am so hard on myself ; I am the way I am and this is it and I’m still attractive too ; beauty is within – and I see his beauty within and that is important to me ( good compassionate , humorous ) ; I think the thing to do is to just enjoy the moment and see where it goes / let all the past stay in the past /let the assumptions & illusions go

5. Post your results of this exercise whether you think it was successful or not below.
still not sure if I’m complete , but definitely see the distinctions clearly

]]> By: Carol http://occurringcourse.com/assignment-1/comment-page-11/#comment-1918 Carol Thu, 26 Apr 2012 04:06:26 +0000 http://occurringcourse.com/?page_id=271#comment-1918 Recent Event : A real nice & handsome man "hit" on me and keeps hitting on me.(meaning making definite passes, calling me a sweetheart , stunning , pretty little little night owl etc...( met him a year ago) Negative feelings : I become scared, resistant, stressed - anxiety sets in - I get real nervous and cannot be myself. I think he's probably lying; he's probably a Casanova; I remember the past experiences ; i think he won't really want me because I'm really aging and not as pretty as I used to be; I'm afraid ; I don't know how to re-act Actuality : he is letting me know he likes me & is interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I can see I have given this relationship a whole bunch of meaning which is not true and I have experienced from the past. I feel afraid if I get involved he will abandon me I think the thing to do is to just enjoy the moment and see where it goes / let all the past go / the assumptions & illusions go ( not sure if I'm complete on this ) Recent Event : A real nice & handsome man “hit” on me and keeps hitting on me.(meaning making definite passes, calling me a sweetheart , stunning , pretty little little night owl etc…( met him a year ago)
Negative feelings : I become scared, resistant, stressed – anxiety sets in – I get real nervous and cannot be myself.
I think he’s probably lying; he’s probably a Casanova; I remember the past experiences ; i think he won’t really want me because I’m really aging and not as pretty as I used to be; I’m afraid ; I don’t know how to re-act
Actuality : he is letting me know he likes me & is interested in pursuing a relationship with me.
I can see I have given this relationship a whole bunch of meaning which is not true and I have experienced from the past. I feel afraid if I get involved he will abandon me
I think the thing to do is to just enjoy the moment and see where it goes / let all the past go / the assumptions & illusions go
( not sure if I’m complete on this )

]]> By: Varsha http://occurringcourse.com/assignment-1/comment-page-11/#comment-1915 Varsha Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:36:37 +0000 http://occurringcourse.com/?page_id=271#comment-1915 1. Notice the negative feeling you are having. I always feel I am middle class and I am not rich enough and I am not living a luxurious life. 2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling. I feel that way because I see my other friends leading such a luxurious life and are so happy with their life. That feeling that is being produced in me is because of what I see around me and I want to be like what I see, for instance lead a very luxurious lifestyle and have financial freedom. 3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events. The meaning of my feeling is due what I want to see and what I want to feel whereas the reality in my life is different. I am able to lead the lifestyle I want - e.g. luxury holidays, shopping gold, branded items, travelling anywhere. However I am not appreciating my current life. 4. Notice how the feeling has changed. Yes, I have definately noticed the change and I promise to be grateful to what I already have than be upset about what I do not have. 5. Post your results of this exercise whether you think it was successful or not below. Yes, it was successful to an extent. I wish to work more on appreciating what I have than get influenced by the external factors around me. 1. Notice the negative feeling you are having.
I always feel I am middle class and I am not rich enough and I am not living a luxurious life.

2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling.
I feel that way because I see my other friends leading such a luxurious life and are so happy with their life. That feeling that is being produced in me is because of what I see around me and I want to be like what I see, for instance lead a very luxurious lifestyle and have financial freedom.

3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events.
The meaning of my feeling is due what I want to see and what I want to feel whereas the reality in my life is different. I am able to lead the lifestyle I want – e.g. luxury holidays, shopping gold, branded items, travelling anywhere. However I am not appreciating my current life.

4. Notice how the feeling has changed.
Yes, I have definately noticed the change and I promise to be grateful to what I already have than be upset about what I do not have.

5. Post your results of this exercise whether you think it was successful or not below.
Yes, it was successful to an extent. I wish to work more on appreciating what I have than get influenced by the external factors around me.

]]> By: John Kerr http://occurringcourse.com/assignment-1/comment-page-11/#comment-1914 John Kerr Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:32:28 +0000 http://occurringcourse.com/?page_id=271#comment-1914 Several years ago I made a "deal" with myself..."John, try your very best to never get angry at people, and never get angry at things, and above all else, never get angry with your self.". I thought I was doing. very well with the people and myself one, but the "things" one still gets me now and again. After experiencing some of your thoughts, and listening to the last exercise, I realize that "things", and "myself" are really one and the same category as to the anger situation. I "believe" my things problem just disolved! :) Thank you! John Kerr Several years ago I made a “deal” with myself…”John, try your very best to never get angry at people, and never get angry at things, and above all else, never get angry with your self.”. I thought I was doing. very well with the people and myself one, but the “things” one still gets me now and again. After experiencing some of your thoughts, and listening to the last exercise, I realize that “things”, and “myself” are really one and the same category as to the anger situation. I “believe” my things problem just disolved! :) Thank you! John Kerr

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