Assignment 2 “what if”
Note: In case you need to review the video that describes this assignment in detail click
What Is The Two-Word Question That Keeps You From Taking Action?
Instructions for Assignment 2.
1. Notice some action that you’ve been avoiding. It could be anything from going to the gym to calling someone on the phone or creating plans for someone you want or need to do.
2. See if there are any “What if’s” that are in your way. “What if I fail?” “What if it’s too hard?” “What if I’m too tired?”
3. Find the occurrings relating to those “What if’s” by answering the “What if” questions. Your answers to these questions are additional occurrings.
4. Notice the reality of the situation. What’s really happening? Right now.
5. Distinguish between what is actually happening in the physical world and your occurrings, the meaning you are giving the events that exists only in your mind.
6. Take note of whether your feelings dissolve or not and post your results below.
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I noticed the internal imagery and dialogue associated with meaning I was portraying with the experience of wanting to do my business idea v’s not. It was interesting seeing the feeling change when I challenged the what if’s!
Hi Mark,
Yes, the feelings do dissolve when you dissolve the meaning you gave the events. Don’t stop now. Keep using this process in your life.
Love,Morty
1) I’ve been avoiding getting in touch with an old friend.
2) “What if they don’t like me anymore?”, and “What if they’ve changed?” comes to mind.
3) They’ll reject me and probably won’t want to keep in contact with me.
4) The reality of the situation would be phoning them and catching up with each other, and perhaps organise meeting up in the future.
5) My occurings for this scenario focus on negative thoughts the friend could be having about me, but reality implies that there is no meaning to these thoughts. The possibility that my friend is thinking badly of me and/or rejects me is only in my mind.
6) My fear about this has lessened, thanks Morty.
Hi Charlie,
When you make a clear distinction between the reality (I’m thinking of calling an old friend) and my occurring (“What if they don’t like me anymore?”, and “What if they’ve changed?”. They’ll reject me and probably won’t want to keep in contact with me.) — the occurring will disolve along with any feelings that the occurring had created.
Love,Morty
Actually , I do intensify these feelings. And then I give more and more meanings and it becomes a big story which I can’t escape, but the feelings become less and less stronger. I think I can’t dissolve them totally, although the motivation to act changes and supports me to do things.
Hi Nevena,
You can dissolve them totally if you follow the instructions. Thousands have been able to do it and so can you.
Just make a clear distinction between the events and how the events occur to you, and the occurring will dissolve, along with any feelings that had been caused by the occurring.
Love, Morty
1. I started writing a screenplay a couple of weeks back. I’d been going at a pretty good clip, but the past week or so I’ve been putting off continuing.
2. My what if’s: “What if it sucks after I’m done?” “What if I get to the middle and I don’t know how to finish it?” “What if it’s actually good and I can sell it?”
3. Either I’m not a good writer (what am I thinking?) or I would have to spend time editing (which I’m not a fan of) or I’m actually good at it and don’t know what the next steps are (securing an agent? what?).
4. What’s really happening is that I’m doing something I’ve never done before, and I am letting anxiety and procrastination stop me.
5. These two are unrelated – I’m assigning meaning that has no bearing in reality to what’s actually happening.
6. Gone. I will resume writing after work tonight.
Thank you, Morty – this was timely. I needed this.
-Steve
Hi Steve,
It actually is just that simple.
Keep using this process and notice the difference it make sin your life.
Love, Morty
no my occurrings didn´t dissolve, what are you doing , is this really working? what kind of people can de free from FEARS AND STRESS trying this?
the fact if I know what I have in mind is different from reality ,don´t cure me I know the diffference I know that is in my mind and so…it keeps their I keep feeling and fearing it. the point here is IF MY MIND BELIEVE IT IS REAL REALITY DON´T EXISTS DIFFERENT, IF I AM AFRAID TO HAPPEN ANY THING THAT IS MY BELIEVE AND I DON´T DO ANYTHING TO PUT MYSELF IN DANGER
Hi Joao,
Sorry this doesn’t seem to be working for you.
Keep trying.
Love,Morty
Joao,
I’m sorry to read about the way you’re feeling. Respectfully, you obviously don’t believe it’s ‘all in your mind’ because you believe it’s ‘real reality’. The following might help a bit:
What you are experiencing is neurological ‘reality’ but as Morty is pointing out, that differs considerably from external reality. They cannot ever be the same. So first, be sure you’re making the distinction between external ‘reality’ and internal ‘reality’.
Secondly, step out of the loop. Ask yourself:
What do I think about my thinking? What do I think about the answer to that question? How do I feel being conscious of my thinking that these feelings are real?
Thirdly, start questioning the ‘reality’ of your thoughts by comparing them to a model: How does this ‘model’ of thinking serve me? Who gave me this mental construct? Since millions of other people don’t think and feel the way I do, what else might they be thinking that stops them thinking like me?
Fourth, try the over-valuing question: What if my fear and stress suddenly stopped? What if it became of no value at-all and I didn’t know or need to do it any more? What would that open up for me?
I wish you well.
Blessings
Doug
1.I’ve been afraid for some time doing the final details on my master’s thesis.
2. What if my conclusions are not good enough? What if I miss the point I was trying to make? What if I can’t finish in time?
3. If I can’t do this I’m not capable of taking on doctorate work. I’m incompetent and mediocre.
4. The reality of the situation is a have a to do list of many details that need to be taken care of that are actually not complicated at all,
there are just several of them.
5. The event-having many steps to complete a project- has no inherent meaning, I realized that just by knowing what I have to do tells me nothing for sure about the outcome in the future, much less about what kind of person I am. The idea of being incompetent and mediocre is only in my mind
6.I felt the fear and anxiety melt away, I now actually feel excited about undertaking the remaining steps to finish the project and see what comes out. I feel more confident about my ability to do the work. Thank you, this reached me just in time.
Hi Bernice,
Congratulations on using the process effectively. Keep at it and keep using it and notice the difference it makes in every area of your life.
Love, Morty
Hello, my name is Paula and I’m from Brazil. I’m so happy to find this site and I’m willing to gain this “present”. Sorry about my English.
I want to be succeded in this process and I need some help. I think this can help me a lot. I hope so.
I have identified the negative feelings and could see also that it’s true that I create the bad feelings and it’s only creation of my mind, it’s not reality. I felt much better after doing the 4 steps, but I must practice a lot. The negative thoughts come in my mind very often and I want to resolve them (dissolve them) to going ahead with my life. I hope that I gain this course. Thank you very much! Regards,
Paula Machado
Hi Paula,
Every time you use this process you will dissolve the occurring and the feelings caused by the occurring. Keep at it.
Love,Morty
1. I put off making follow up calls for my non profit fundraising.
2. What if; They are not there; they avoid the call; they have no time for you
3. They see no value; My presentation sucked
4. I am giving myself alternative realities for occurrences that might or might not happen
5. I’m setting up worst case outcomes for events that have not happened
6. I feel a sense of calm but have not completely overcome my lack of confidence in my choice to make the followup calls.
Hi Moose,
Dissolving your occurrings won’t necessarily give you a sense of confidence (getting rid of all the beleifs on our Natural Confidence program will). It will, however, dissolve the occurrings and allow you to just see that you have calls to make and that that has no meaning.
Love, Morty
1. I keep putting off losing weight.
2.What if I get health issues.
3. What if people think I am fat, what if people take away their love.
4. I have no health issues now and am healthy, I am not obese, people in my life never say anything about me and love me.
5.I am picking on myself and am not truly overweight except in my mind and my reality is that I am a very healthy eater, I exercise lots and am a great person not matter what.
6. I am feeling much better about me and my fear about me have lessoned. Thanks Morty.
Hi Shirlee,
Congratulations on using the Lefkoe Occurring Process successfully.
And when you have totally dissolved an occurring, the feeling will dissolve totally, not merely lessen.
Love,Morty
1. Notice some action that you’ve been avoiding. It could be anything from going to the gym to calling someone on the phone or creating plans for someone you want or need to do.
AVOIDING: Entering and clarifying data into quickbooks
2. See if there are any “What if’s” that are in your way. “What if I fail?” “What if it’s too hard?” “What if I’m too tired?”
Mine are the following: What if I do it wrong? What if I get audited by the IRS and have done it wrong? What if I don’t do it right and I have to work with my CPA and it costs me MORE money? What if it’s pointless—I’ll never get it right.
3. Find the occurrings relating to those “What if’s” by answering the “What if” questions. Your answers to these questions are additional occurrings.
What if I do it wrong? Then I will have wasted my time. I am incapable of meeting the changing standards.
What if I get audited by the IRS and have done it wrong? Then I will be in trouble and will probably get punished with fines and other BS.
What if I don’t do it right and I have to work with my CPA and it costs me MORE money? Then I’m not as good as a CPA in that job.
What if it’s pointless—I’ll never get it right.
4. Notice the reality of the situation. What’s really happening? Right now.
The reality is that the work is required to the best of my ability and I pay someone else with a higher skill level to help me beyond my skill level.
5. Distinguish between what is actually happening in the physical world and your occurrings, the meaning you are giving the events that exists only in your mind.
What it feels like I’m judging myself on: I am not good enough to adapt to the everchanging standards of a loosely interpreted, massive index of rules and regulations with multiple gray areas I don’t understand. I have to understand it all to even start. I put myself in risk to move forward.
Reality: There are many rules and regulations that I do not know. I pay someone else to assist me because their time is spent learning those rules better than me. Entering data into quickbooks, whether or not it is perfect, is a starting point to move forward so someone else can help me.
6. Take note of whether your feelings dissolve or not and post your results below.
I feel better, but it still sucks that I have to live with the uncertainty.
Hi Robert,
Your uncertainty is the result of your occurring, not the event in reality.
Merely having to enter data into QB would not cause uncertainty.
Love,Morty
1/ I cant shift out of my current house.I am terrified of moving to the new place because its on the ground floor and i dont like it.
2/the what ifs are – what if i hate the new place, what if its the wrong house for me, what if i get too tired doing all that and i cant take care of myself , what if im miserable there.
3/ If i hate it and am miserable , if its the wrong house for me, it means that i have to change the house,Im too picky and i never get it right! I am a loser and the most unlucky person in the world. Nothing ever works for me!
4/Reality is – there is a house and its on the ground floor and im considering it because its closer to the city.
5/I havent even moved in yet and i already hate it in my mind. I havent really given it a shot at all. I dont know if im going to hate it. And even if i do, i will atleast know that i do and i can take further action.
6/Still have to work on many other ideas relating to the house, but this one seems to have shifted a little. And instead of a dull ache in the stomach , there is even a slight feeling of curiosity about trying something new! Will keep working at it! This is even better than the katie byron ‘work’ on thoughts.
Hi Anu,
Congratulations on trying the Lefkoe Occurring Process.
If the feelings have changed, then you have totally dissolved your occurring, not merely “shifted a little.”
The occurring causes the feeling, so if the feeling is gone, the occurring must be gone also.
Love, Morty
I’m job hunting & am procrastinating writing the cover letters needed for the online applications. When I ask ‘what if’, I’m afraid that what I write will not be strong enough to get an interview – and I’ll be rejected. The underlying feeling is defeat and anxiety. Reality is that I am well educated & have a good track record – just not a perfect match for some of the requirements of the jobs. When I distinguish reality from my occurrence, I recognize that I am competent and successful as a professional & person regardless of job rejections. I also recognize that I don’t want most of the jobs, and that except for one position that looks good to me – it will feel better if I continue my search for better matches. Yes, to a large extent the feelings dissolved.
Hi Sami,
When you make a clear distinction between reality and how it occurs to you, the occurring will dissolve along with the feelings caused by the occurring.
So if the feelings are still there to some extent, then go back and make sure you get that the event has no inherent meaning, that the meaning is only in your mind.
Love,Morty
1. My lease is ending and I have to make a decision to either stay or move. I have to talk to my manager but she is a gruff person and I am afraid she will be gruff towards me and unfair so I am postponing talking to her which is unwise in this situation.
2. My what-ifs are: what if she doesn’t want us to stay and she raises the rent. what if she is in a bad mood and is mean to me. what if she puts us out on the streets. what if everybody hears us talking and hears her rejecting me and they laugh at me.
3. if she raises the rent – then I will have to find another place and she may charge me outrageously and i won’t be able to afford anything else and will be out on the streets. if she is in a bad mood and is mean to me – that will trigger my PTSD and i will go into another funk and it will be so hard to get out of it. if she puts us out on the streets – it is too cold to survive on the streets and my boys and i will have to find a shelter and who knows the scary people we will encounter and what terrible things will happen. if people over hear her being mean to me and they laugh – i will be so embarrassed and feel such shame i will have a PTSD episode and that makes me freeze and not function well.
4. what is the reality and really happening: i am getting all worked up about things that may or may not occur. i am postponing the inevitable which can make things worse in this situation and what is actually happening is that i am sitting here writing about something i need to do and the manager is sitting in her office doing her work and life is calm and fine except inside of me. the reality is that everything is fine and no one is hurting me. the manager is just waiting for me to come talk to her and whatever her decision is i will be able to handle it and things will go well for me and my boys i’m sure.
5. what’s really happening right now in the physical world is: i am sitting, writing and thinking about this situation. i am safe and life is going great in every area except inside of me because of my occurrings – my negative occurrings are overwhelming me because i am assigning negative meaning to an event that has not even happened yet. for all i know, the event will go great and all will be well and that is what i want the most. if things go swell with my manager then that will “mean” i am loved and appreciated and cared for and that good things happen in my life and i am good. if i actually dwell on the last sentence i wrote i find that no matter what happens with my manager that i still will be loved, appreciated and cared for and the reality is that good things always happen in my life and i am a good person no matter what occurs with my meeting with my manager.
6. my negative feelings waned and ebbed throughout this process. when i thought good thoughts i felt better but then i would counter the good thoughts with negative thoughts again and the bad feelings would come back. it shows me that i have a lot of occurrings within me that i need to work through with the Lefkoe method. i feel better because i know there is hope because of Morty Lefkoe and his great Lefkoe Method.
Hi Rebecca,
The point is not to try to convince yourself that your positive meaning is true, only to get that your negative meaning is only in your mind and not inherent in the event. When you do that, your occurring and the feelings it caused will dissolve.
Love,Morty
Avoiding ready scripts that I said I would/pushing forward on my productions.
What if these fail too? What if I don’t have what it takes? I can’t afford to keep putting all this time in for free. What if I do all this work and it is a waste?
Reality is I produced a film a few years ago and it ddn’t go. Now is not then. Reality is that they are good projects and I am discouraged.
Now is not then but I can’t seem to release the blah.
Still sitting in the blah. Feeling somewhat helpless about it all.
Hi Ryan,
It sounds like you are trying to convince yourself of something. That’s not the point. Don’t try to convince yourself of a positive interpretation.
The point is that you are making up a meaning for the event that is not inherent in the event. You can’t make any predictions for sure merely from the fact of the event. The meaning is only in your mind. When that is real to you, the occurring will dissolve along with any feelings caused by the occurring.
Love, Morty
Yeah ! Frankly I don’t really want to review myself ,but for your course today!
Most of the time , I just get away from my goal ,my task ,my award even my love for the “what if …”
Many are afraid of the failures, so do I. That make me hesitate ,hang back for so many thing .
And it’s unexpected , I miss the right chance the best time and the Ms Right !
The course make me know that “Don’t be afraid of any thing ,just go ahead !just do it! You can make it !”
Hi Paul,
I can’t tell from your comment if you actually dissolved your occurring or not. If you follow the instructions, you will.
Love, Morty
1. Notice some action that you’ve been avoiding. It could be anything from going to the gym to calling someone on the phone or creating plans for someone you want or need to do:
Calling prospective sellers on the phone and canvassing neighborhoods and door knocking to speak with prospective sellers about the possibility of either buying their house or having them refer someone that will.
2. See if there are any “What if’s” that are in your way. “What if I fail?” “What if it’s too hard?” “What if I’m too tired?”: What if I appear foolish, like I don’t know what I’m talking about, or I freeze up and can’t handle objections or questions, or they become angry at me. What if I simply can’t do it – I’m just too stupid to do this or I’m simply not capable of learning this skill.
3. Find the occurrings relating to those “What if’s” by answering the “What if” questions. Your answers to these questions are additional occurrings: What if they become angry and start yelling at me? What if I find I just can’t do it and I’m a failure at this business? What if I am not good at it, there goes my life long dream of becoming a successful real estate investor? What if I can’t articulate what it is I need to tell them?
4. Notice the reality of the situation. What’s really happening? Right now:
I am simply meeting or calling people, asking some simple questions, giving them some good, potentially useful, maybe life changing information. Approaching them in a friendly way.
5. Distinguish between what is actually happening in the physical world and your occurrings, the meaning you are giving the events that exists only in your mind:
What’s really happening is what I described above in item 4. The meaning I’m giving it is that I’m being judged by these people as someone that is trying to swindle them or taking advantage of someone in a difficult situation. That I’m just some guy that may or may not be a good guy and I’m trying to get them to sell me their house at a very low price and take advantage of them in some way.
6. Take note of whether your feelings dissolve or not and post your results below:
I feel a little better about it, but I still have some major reservations and fearfulness about the whole thing.
Thank you,
Peter
perhaps we should combine our skills and dimolish our fears…30 Years in the Real Estate Industry.
Hi Peter,
The point is to get that calling prospects is not inherently scary, that it doesn’t necessarily mean that they will get angry, that you will fail, etc. That is a meaning that exists only in your mind.
All you need to do is make a clear distinction between the event in reality and the meaning in your mind. When you do that, the occurring will dissolve along with any feelings caused by the occurring.
Love, Morty
1. 30 years I have been a Real Estate Associate. Truly I Belive my “Pride & Joy..”
recently the market has “slowed” down…I am now divorced for the 2nd time, empty nester and my children are grown and gone…I have no credit, a mortgage and commission sales to live on.
Throughout my career I have struggled and survived…
2.Just this year I am froze with fear, lack of direction, committtment to the industry…Am I burnt out, is it the market, am I where I am suppose to be. Is my net worth a direct result of my self worth?
Everforward I know,,,I am tired and confused..Do I find a second income, a different job..I’m 50 now and too old for the stress and not knowing. The deal to deal did use to excite me. I believe I need structure, safe haven, house and home..for me not everyone else. It is time to take care of myself.
3. What if I cannot make my mortgage payment, pay my bills, what if I loose my home of 30 years.
4. The Reality of the situation is I have applied for numerous jobs to no avail, I have asked people I know to employee me and they tell me I will be fine, I am a good person, it is just the market…This does not cover my expenses.
5. My fears are not disolving…I am froze in disbelif. I am confused…I can not control the no less than 1000 thoughts in my mind…am I destined for defeat…NO I KNOW I’m NOT…
Hi Debbie,
I’m sorry to hear about your real difficulties. They are real and have to be dealt with.
However, the meaning you are giving your situation is resulting in fear and anxiety that are making the situation more difficult to deal with. And your occurring is keeping you from acting effectively to resolve the situation.
The point of this process is just to identify one specific event in reality (not a summary of your entire life) and the meaning you are giving that specific event. If you make a clear distinction between the event and how it occurs to you, the occurring will dissolve along with any feelings that had been caused by the occurring.
Try it. it really works.
Love,Morty
1. Notice some action that you’ve been avoiding. It could be anything from going to the gym to calling someone on the phone or creating plans for someone you want or need to do.
Cold calling expired’s – get on the phone and talked with sellers about their plans to move and sell.
2. See if there are any “What if’s” that are in your way. “What if I fail?” “What if it’s too hard?” “What if I’m too tired?”
What if I fail? What if I can’t convince them? What if they don’t like me?
3. Find the occurrings relating to those “What if’s” by answering the “What if” questions. Your answers to these questions are additional occurrings.
what if I fail – well, if I fail, then at least I went down knowing that I tried.
what if I can’t convince them – then I’ve wasted time and energy on people I don’t like
what if they don’t like me/find my advice good – then they may think I am just a fraud.
4. Notice the reality of the situation. What’s really happening? Right now.
What’s really happening – 1. can’t fail if I don’t even try. so that’s easy. got go get’em first. 2. convince them – well, it’s not so much about convince sellers, it’s more about helping them. there is no need to convince them if I come across to just helping people. 3. don’t like me – i don’t know that for a fact. the reality is that most people find me friendly and professional. if it turns out sellers don’t like me, then maybe it’s their own “occuring” and not mine.
5. Distinguish between what is actually happening in the physical world and your occurrings, the meaning you are giving the events that exists only in your mind.
What’s actually happening is that other agents are listing expired’s consistently and no one got hurt. In fact, from what I know is that other agents have been successful and it’s not that complicated. The reality is that there are sellers out there who need my help. I need to connect with those. The ones that are difficult, rude, or unpleasant will be a minority and if I happen to encounter them, it’s simple call of “next!”
6. Take note of whether your feelings dissolve or not and post your results below.
I feel more positive and more ready to take action! Go get’em!
Hi Chia,
It sounds like you dissolved your occurring. Congratulations.
Love, Morty
1. Notice some action that you’ve been avoiding. It could be anything from going to the gym to calling someone on the phone or creating plans for someone you want or need to do.
—The action is with my work. It is a creative thing. I had to wait for the inspiration. Which means I have to clear space for the ideas to come. Which is why I am here.
2. See if there are any “What if’s” that are in your way. “What if I fail?” “What if it’s too hard?” “What if I’m too tired?”
—Yes, what if what I create is not received well by the public I serve.
3. Find the occurrings relating to those “What if’s” by answering the “What if” questions. Your answers to these questions are additional occurrings.
—? Not sure about this one. Confusion, anxiety.
4. Notice the reality of the situation. What’s really happening? Right now.
—What is really happening, right now is that I have asked for a solution and now I am certain the answer is on the way, so I am standing aside to allow that guidance to come forth.
5. Distinguish between what is actually happening in the physical world and your occurrings, the meaning you are giving the events that exists only in your mind.
—Ah, yes! The physical world is just expressing itself. It knows nothing about my anxiety with regard to what am I supposed to do. But, again, I am standing aside to allow.
6. Take note of whether your feelings dissolve or not and post your results below.
—You are right-on. I am getting clearer. Guidance is coming, help is always on the way.
Thank you.
Hi L,
If you feel better,that’s great. But I’m not sure you actually did the process I suggested.
You want to identify an event and the meaning you give that event. When you make a clear distinction between them, the occurring will dissolve, along with any feelings caused by the occurring.
Love, Morty
1. notice I have been avoiding doing stuff on my online business.
2. feeling of reluctance to do anything.
3. what if it does not work out – what if I run out of money – what if I loose my house – what if I end up on the street?
4. feel a lot of fear.
5. make distiction between getting on computer and all my thoughts + feelings.
6. it’s just getting on the computer and doing stuff. Feel alot more positive. It definitely works!
Hi Richard,
Yes, it does work. Keep using the Lefkoe Occurring Process in your life and notice that you can literally create your daily experience of life.
Love, Morty
Hi, Morty!
1. I’ve been avoiding reading books (espesially for studying) for at least 10 years.
2. What if I’m too sleepy/ tired now? What if I’ll do it later, after I watch some TV/ eat something? What if I don’t really want to do it now? What if it’s too boring? What if it’s too difficult? What if I won’t understand anything? What if it’ll take all evening? What if I’ll do all the other things first: wash the dishes, water the plants, answer my e-mail, call someone, go to the store…etc.? What if I’ll read when I feel like reading, for example tomorrow?
3. I will get tired, sleepy, so I will need some rest/ sleep before reading; reading doesn’t feel pleasant, so I’ll do something that I enjoy to do first; reading feels like hard work; I have more urgent things to do: answering e-mails, doing the dishes. If I don’t do all these things first, I’ll be too anxious to read; I will feel more at ease, more eager to read if I read some time later/ tomorrow/ not now; maybe I won’t understand and remember what I read; my reading skills are not good; I will feel stupid, annoyed, angry with myself, feel less worthy and less smart than others if I don’t understand and remember what I read; I feel that reading is difficult for me, it bothers me; I’m a student that doesn’t read much – I feel so much guilt and anxiety about it; I’m disappointing others and myself.
4. I’m sitting here at the table with a pile of books on it. I have decided to read. I have chosen one book and opened it. I’m awake and alert.
5. There’s not much happening in reality, physically. It is very clear what is going on: I have decided to read, I’m sitting, browsing the books. There’s nothing much to it. All the “what ifs” and answers to them, together with the emotions that they bring, seem to be related only to the thoughts in my mind. Not reality.
This moment is no different than some minutes ago when I was watching TV. I am also still the same. Thoughts, occurings and meaning that I give them are not, on the other hand. My occurings are not reality.
6. I do feel better, lighter, more positive. I feel some sort of relief.
Hi K,
From what you wrote is seems like you were partly successful. Make it clear to yourself that there is a clear distinction between the event (sitting down to read a book) and how that event occurs to you (it’s difficult, I won’t understand, etc).
Reading a book doesn’t inherently have the meaning you gave it. The meaning is only in your mind. When you make that clear, the occurring will dissolve along with any feelings caused by the occurring.
Try again and let me know what happens.
Love,Morty
The action I’ve been avoiding is finding a photographer and getting new headshots done.
The WHAT IF’S are : What if I’m bad?, What if I look stupid?, What if I can’t be confident and express myself to the camera?
My answers to the What IF’s: I’ll be a failure, They won’t want me, I’ll be punished, I’ll be alone, abandoned , and I won’t be loved.
What’s actually happening? I’m just sitting and thinking that I need to get new headshots, so I can get a new agent, and get my career going again. And I’m not doing anything about it.
Distinguishing between Reality and Meaning : Wow! All these childhood feelings of fear of being abandoned, and failure, etc. are clearly NOT coming from anything to do with getting pictures taken! It’s like this issue opened up a hole drawing me back to early childhood feelings and meanings. Not only do these meanings not have anything to do with the current reality, they didn’t even REALLY reflect the reality back then. I never was actually left completely alone and unloved and abandoned. I may have FELT that, but it was meaning I was giving to my parent’s actions. So I’ve allowed these feelings and meanings to surface, and kept looking at how they are NOT coming FROM the current reality, but only from mistaken meanings from a long time ago.
Yes, the feelings seem to have dissolved, and I think I have some freedom about this now!
Thanks!
Hi Lon,
Congratulations on your insights.
When the distinction between events in reality and how those events occur to you is clear enough, the meaning will dissolve along with any feelings caused by your occurring.
Love,Morty
Hi Morty
I have been procrastinating on the promotion of the products an services of my business
1. What if I don’t get the rewards I desire?
2. Is it worth to make a big effort when I am no so sure of the results?
3. What if the promotion approaches are answered with rejection?
There are many what ifs and it all sums up to a lack of self confidence, which obviously I will have to eliminate with work and conscious commitment.
The negativity is all in my mind and I need a relentless effort to eliminate that lack of self confidence.
The what if occurrence clearing method works well but it needs some help in the area of self confidence. Lack of self confidence translates in endless what ifs occurrences.
thanks for your help and effort
Roberto
Hi Roberto,
Your analysis is accurate.
Our Natural Confidence digital program is guaranteed to help you eliminate the negative beliefs that cause a lack of confidence. Check it out at http://recreateyourlife.com/naturalconfidence. It really works.
Regarding your occurrings, you can dissolve them even before eliminate the beleifs that caused them by following the steps I gave you.
Love, Morty
For more years than I can now remember, I have been in the process of getting ready to get ready to begin a homebased business, first in the traditional network marketing business model, and then online. I have purchased countless informational products and coaching programs, but I have been paralyzed by fear. One of my “what if’s” has been of course, of course, the biggie: What if I fail? The occurances that resulted in my mind from that “what if” were: Then my daughters will be so disappointed that I will never get myself out of the barely-making-it-day-to-day existence we have been used to for so very long. Then I will never be able to fulfill my dream of starting a scholl which teaches kids prosperity consciousness, because I will not have the insight, credentials or finances to be qualified to initiate such a school. Then I will not be able to stop cleaning houses, ever! The other big “what if is: What if I start to succeed? What if I sign someone up and then I don’t help them succeed? What if they think I’m a terrible sponsor? What if they are angry with me for introducing them to a business model that they are failing at? What if I am not good at being a leader? After watching your video and realizing I can separate my “what if” thoughts from the reality of the current moment, I now feel empowered rather than drained. My thoughts have cleared and I see only the next step before me, none of the clouds of confusion as before. Rather than worrying what will happen when someone decides to sign up in my business, I now have confidence that I need only do the next step and observe what happens, trusting that I will respond simply to the best of my ability, realizing it’s all a learning experience, and proceed on! The worries, the “what if’s”, have been dissipated. I can see now that they were indeed nothing. I had been wondering for so long what it was going to take for me to get my breakthrough! This is definitely it!! Coincidentally, my daughter read my horoscope for March recently and it said this would be the month when I finally got my breakthrough!! Thank you again Morty!!
Hi Christine,
Congratulations! Don’t stop now. Keep using this process to dissolve all your occurrings every day. It will totally transform your experience of life.
Love, Morty
I have been fearing going to the gym, because I am slightly overweight and I feel like the other members will look at me strangely or make fun of me. I don’t feel very comfortable with my weight, and sometimes I am very self conscious and feel as though people are staring at me. I need to get over this fear of failure and like myself for who I am.
Hi Rita,
You shared what you would like to do.
Did you try using the process I provided to see if it will help? Go through all the steps and let me know what happens. As you can see from many of the other posts, it works for most people who follow my instructions. Try it. You have nothing to lose.
Love,Morty
Hey Morty;
YOu know I actually took steps in the right direction and then “What-if” stopped me although I didin’t know it was ! I have a membership to the local JCC I got it intending to go back to swimming and get in better shape; in 2 months I’ve been there only twice! What if – I can’t find the time to get there and swim? Hmmm I seem to find the time to do a bunch of other things that aren’t as productive. So what fear do I have about this? People will see that I’m not in shape and judge me to be an unattractive blob. I also fear that I won’t have time to do everything else I HAVE to do. The people judging part is all in my head – I don’t know anyone at the JCC so first of all who cares what’s in their heads, secondly people are there for many of the same reasons I am they won’t be judging what I am doing or how I look they are concerned with their own issues. On the time bit its more of a lazy habit, I have time to watch TV or to play games on the internet. Surely I can stop some of that and get the chores done besides exercise will give me more energy so I don’t feel the need to “veg-out” and I’ll get more done with less effort. I just need to plan ahead a little bit and work the JCC into my schedule – stop on the way home from work for instance and swim then go home and do the things I need to do before I spend some downtime playing. I’m going to do that TODAY! I’m going to send this in and go pack my swimsuit and towel so I have it all with me when I leave for work. Thanks for this work D~
Hi Donna,
If you really dissolved your occurring, the anxiety would have dissolved and you would have gone to the JCC.
Did you actually go? Let me know.
Love,Morty
Tough assignment. In some ways its a bit confusing because I was taught what if’s can lead to possibilities.
making choices of any kind seem to be challenging as of late. Its like I’d like to feel a sense of certantiy and confidence and yet that’s been missing for some time now. A sense of peace, a sense of rest, a sense of trust.
I originally got into the self help for a few small things and it seems like that molhill grew into a mountain and my enthusiasm has gone out the window. Seems like there is a whole pile of things that I’m avoiding lately, and I’m not even sure where to start.
So what if nothing I ever do ever works out, then what ? What if I don’t want to live my life based on what others expect of me. What if I just don’t have the strength to move forward anymore. What if I’m just sabotaging myself to prove my lack of value.
So whats going on in the world. Paying bills. Finding a better source of income. Getting back into exersizing and taking better care of myself. Getting paperwork done so I can go back to school this fall.
I’m feeling a sense of sadness, seems like that is a core feeling that crops up or never really seems to go away. I really wish it would though, I deserve better in all areas of my life.
Hi Thomas,
Thanks for sharing where you’re at in your life right now.
But you didn’t try using my process to dissolve occurrings and feelings.
Try it. Choose one “what if.” Follow the steps of the process and see if you feel differently when you’re done.
Let me know.
Love, Morty
Assignment 2
What if I can’t give up sugar. I eat it every day. I get very cranky if I don’t get my sugar. I run to whoever is giving it to me. The truth is that it is just sugar. I love fruit and will substitute that for the sugar. Easily said but what if I just have to have my sugar? What if I revert back to drinking if I stop eating my sugar. Drinking would be worse than eating sugar—except that I have gained lots of weight with the sugar. The WHAT IFS are What if I quit sugar and start drinking again, What if I quit sugar and start acting like a mad fiend(which is the truth) when I don’t get my sugar. What if I just keep gaining weight because I’m afraid of drinking again.
What is really happening—I’m stressed and feel very fat, and unattractive. What if I lose weight? Men will be attracted to me. I can say yes or no to any gentleman and have a great meeting. The other truth is that I eat the whole bag of candy—very rarely one piece. The actual truth is that I must have something to take the drinking and sugar’s place. Let’s get real. All I need to do is have food in my frig and fruit and vegetable treats to eat all day. I just don’t want to because I’m being a baby and am feeling very restricted. The truth is I’m not restricted. I’ll be allowing myself freedom to be the real me. Solution: I need to buy healthy food, fruit and vegetables and have them ready to eat. So —what if I don’t want to prepare my food early. I am starting to hear a poor me story. I can’t stand whinning. Just buy the food and do some work. Taking time for myself seems to limit my time for helping others. I can hear the lazy girl talking. Buy the food and prepare it on Saturday afternoon after seeing clients. I feel exhausted.
HiJoan,
A very interesting analysis of your life. But you got a bit off track.
All the what ifs are occurrings. When you make a clear distinction between events and how they occur to you, the occurring will dissolve, along with any feelings caused by the occurrings.
Try the steps I provided and let me know what happens.
Love, Morty
Painting on my art works, finishing a portrait commission.
What if it’s bad. What if the commissioner hates it, what if it’s too hard and I can’t do it and ruin it.
That means I’m not a good artist. That me and my sister and everyone waiting on this painting will think I’m a terrible artist. Embarrassing my Sister.
I’m not confident. I find no joy accomplishing this project. I’m being graded.
I’m avoiding this task. The longer I wait, the worse pressure I feel.
In reality, I have time to do it now and it wont get any better by waiting. I will most likely make changes to the painting that are good. It will be tedious, but I can’t let them wait any longer. It’s a perfect time to do it. Waiting for another time is just not good.
I feel hesitant, but I’m going to start on some easy parts, then work my way into the harder ones….what can it hurt?
Hi Ariane,
Remember, the what ifs are occurrings. Occurrings are the meaning you give events that seem to be the truth, that seem to be reality. In fact, occurrings are in our minds, not in reality.
When you make a clear distinction between events in reality and meanings in your mind, the occurrings will dissolve, along with any feelings caused by the occurrings.
Love, Morty
1. I’ve been avoiding launching my photography website.
2. I have lots of what ifs? What if I don’t have good enough pictures to put on it? That’s proof that I’m not a good enough photographer. What if no one goes to the site? – I’ll feel rejected. What if people go to the site and still don’t hire me? – More proof that my photography isn’t good enough and worse I won’t have an excuse for not doing more photography work. What if I start to get lots of work and I’m too tired and stressed? What if my ex-husband sees it and thinks I’m making tons of money and stops paying child support? I don’t have the energy to go back to court with him.
The reality – I can fairly easily and quickly launch a photography website, I already have several pictures chosen, I already have my URL registered, my friends and family will go to the site and I’ll feel happy and proud just knowing I did it, even if no one else cares.
My feelings – Yep – you know my feelings have shifted significantly, I actually feel happy about the site, I feel inspired to do it, I can always continue to update and improve it after its up.
Thank you Morty, your work is really very effective. You are a blessing.
Hi Liz,
Congratulations. It appears you dissolved your occurring and with it your negative feelings.
Don’t stop now. Use it daily in all areas of your life.
Love,Morty
1. I have not been writing for my book which already has a publishing deal.
2. What if its crap? what if all the people i know that read it think its ridiculous? what if nobody buys it? what if i am embarassed by it? what if i publish it under a pen name and nobody believes i wrote it?
what if it comes back to haunt me? what if i publish it later when i have revised it 10 more times?
3. the occurings here are that i am not capable of producing something of high value/ quality. That i can not live up to my own expectations. That people will have a highly critical disposition toward me (like i have for myself). That if nobody buys the book it would mean i had failed. That then the book would make my life worse instead of better. That i would be embarassed about what I have published and there would be no way of retracting. but that if i published under a pen name it would prevent me from reaping the benefits if the book were to be well received.
The result is i have now stopped writing. Before i got a publishing offer, I was writing every day, with a full heart and enjoying the process. By ascribing the publication of my work with the meanings decribed above, I have chased myself into a corner where I have lost the joy in doing so and have stopped writing alltogether.
The reality is, If I publish a book, I’ve published a book. People can think either way about it and probably will. I can only write what comes out of me and that is the best that I can do. At least I will have produced something instead of nothing.
the reality is i have been offered a publishing deal because someone saw some potential in my writing. I have written and revised it
Hi Vanessa,
I can’t tell from your post whether or not you actually dissolved your occurring.
Please let me know. That’s what this is all about: actually dissolving your occurring and any negative feelings caused by the occurring.
Love, Morty
1. Notice some action that you’ve been avoiding.
I have yet to finish completing my passport application. It’s been over a year since I started filling it out.
2. See if there are any “What if’s” that are in your way. “What if I fail?” “What if it’s too hard?” “What if I’m too tired?”
What if I fill it out wrong and it gets rejected? What if I actually get my passport and I can’t use it as an excuse to stay home?
3. Find the occurrings relating to those “What if’s” by answering the “What if” questions. Your answers to these questions are additional occurrings.
If it gets rejected there will probably be all kinds of hassles to deal with to make it right. If I no longer have an excuse to stay home I’ll end up spending money I don’t want to spend going somewhere I don’t want to go.
4. Notice the reality of the situation. What’s really happening, right now?
I have an incomplete passport application in front of me.
5. Distinguish between what is actually happening in the physical world and your occurrings, the meaning you are giving the events that exists only in your mind.
What I think ‘might’ happen is all a mental creation. In actuality, I’m just sitting here with an incomplete passport application.
6. Take note of whether your feelings dissolve or not and post your results below.
When I become aware that all I have before me is an incomplete passport application my feelings become neutral in regard to it. It becomes obvious that I need to complete the next task, fill in the next blank, etc.
It occurs to me that this process of dealing with your own occurrings has a parallel in how it seems so easy to solve other people’s problems. If I knew of someone else who was putting off applying for a passport I would explain to them how really simple all the steps are to follow. “It’s straightforward,” I’d tell them. And it is, when you’re not bringing all the made up BS and adding it to the picture.
This essential awareness, that you can make a distinction between reality and how reality is occurring to you, makes such a huge impact. Thanks, Morty, for being such a clear thinker and for keeping your message simple and consistent.
I’m sold. If The Occurring Course can add even more value to what you’ve already given for free I can’t resist learning more.
Korey
Hi Korey,
Thanks for trying the occurring process and succeeding. You got it!
The course adds a lot more value. It helps you make subtle distinctions between reality and occurrings that can be difficult to catch, it enables you to make the process of dissolving occurrings into a habit that requires no thought, it actually results in you having fewer occurrings in your life, you learn how to create positive occurrings, etc.
Check it out at http://occurringcourse.com/discover.
Let me know what you think and if you have any questions.
Would love to spend 10 weeks with you.
Love, Morty
I’m having trouble finishing this assignment. The question that keeps popping up is ‘ What if I am just wasting my time with this. Even if I get the scholarship, ‘what if this method does not work on me – nothing ever does – nothing has helped me change’.
Reality – the fact that I am doing this means I am giving this method a go and I’m succeeding because I’m thinking about it.
It’s not true that nothing works – I am not 100% there yet – but I have made lots of small changes over the years that have helped me be a better functioning person.
Hi Nina,
Don’t keep me in suspense! Did your occurring dissolve? If you make a clear distinction between reality (I have an assignment I can do) and how it occurs to you (I’m wasting my time, it won’t work on me), the occurring will dissolve. Did it?
Let me know.
Love,Morty
1. I’ve been avoiding making business calls to book appointments, which i have to do in order to make sales.
2. I came up with many “what ifs”
What if nobody answers? What if I leave a message and they don’t call back? What if they get angry that I called? What if it would be better if I just stop and see them? What if they’re busy? What if they feel like I’m bothering them? What if it’s all just a waster of my time? What if I run out of people to call?
3. The answers to all of these “what if” questions involve, I won’t be able to get any appointments, and I won’t be able to sell anything, which means I’ll have failed, I won’t be able to pay my bills and I’ll have to look for another job, and then what if I can’t get another job? The what if’s just keep feeding on themselves.
4. The reality is, it’s a numbers game. Some people won’t answer, some won’t be interested, some may even feel bothered and will be angry, but I am just looking for the ones who ARE interested and I CAN help and they WANT to make an appointment and will likely buy something. I just have to keep dialing and calling and talking until I find the right ones.
5. I am anticipating what will happen with the call before I even dial the phone. I’m imagining a negative outcome before I even begin.
6. I have difficulty remembering the positive when the going gets tough and FEAR looms above all else. By reminding myself that last week I had a great week, with several appointments with people that I helped who thanked me for calling them, that I can get back on the phone and breeze through more calls. It’s stopping that rolling fear train, that is so important. Thanks Morty. Great work as always.
Cindy J.
Hi Cindy,
You don’t have to remember positive interpretations. The point isn’t to try to get positive to overcome the negative. That’s almost impossible.
The point is to dissolve the negative occurring by clearly distinguishing it from reality. When you do that the occurring will dissolve.
Love, Morty
I’ve been avoiding making insurance cold calls. What if I am successful at getting an appointment that will mean a lot of applications to do . What if I get the appointments , do the applications and don’t get any of the business that would be a waste of time
all that I am really doing is picking up the phone and talking to people. that in itself does not mean anything. there is no inherent meaning in the act of making phone calls
when I think of it that way the negative feelings go away
Hi Francis,
Congratulations. It really does work. Keep doing it in all areas of your life and you will realize you are creating your experience of life.
Love,Morty
The occurrings were rather hidden, like buried, but then the bubbled up.
It was like they were hiding from me..and I think they go even deeper.
I didnt have any real feeling dissolve or a feeling present. It’s as though it is so deeply entrenched in my subconscience that it is difficult to get to…like multiple levels of occurrings. One hiding the other…
Hi Anna,
Occurrings aren’t always obvious, but they are not hard to find. Your what if is an occurring as are the answers to that question. Make a clear distinction between your occurrings and the vents, and the occurrings will dissolve. Try it and let me know what happens.
Love, Morty
One of many things I’m putting off is finishing a logo for my brother. I have no graphic art experience only fine art , so I have had to teach myself computer skills, because he is letting me borrow one of his computers to work on it, because being on disability welfare I was way too poor to afford one. Also I have had to teach myself photo shop at the same time.
I owe my brother big time for all the help he’s given me, and I absolutely need this logo to be beyond excellent. A pretty hard thing to do for someone who feels that nothing they have ever done is good enough.
Now I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t try to work on this particular problem, because if I overcome my blocks to finishing it, then I might finish it and be humiliated.
Ahhhhh I really, really, really need to finish it, ok here come the panic attacks, now what do I do.
ok meaning thats causing the feeng ok the meaning is nothing i ever do has been good enough or is good enough
ok identify the event in reality, what was actually happining ok what is actually happening is I am thinking how guilty I feel because the logo isn’t finished yet. ok all that was happening was that i was sitting in a room thinking
ok clearly distinguish between the event and the meaning in your mind I’m sorry I can’t figure out how to do this i had hoped i would do better on this test especially because i really really really need to finish this logo
also I can’t figure out, even if i can get this to work, how can it stop you from feeling like a failure
oh well thank you very much for doing all this work to help people it is very kind of you
i am going to take a break from this, then come back and keep watching these videos and try to figure out
how to make this work i really really really need to finish this
i sure wish i could get this or any syseem to work on disabling fear, that is what i really need oh well i guess since i did so poorly on both tests my chance of winning is microscopic but thanks anyway
please please please don’t show this publically ,i would be too humiliated, i was only writing this down to try to win, otherwise i would have only done it privately.
take care
Hi D,
You were doing fine and then quit. The event is sitting at your computer trying to create a logo. The meaning is I don’t know how to do this; I’ll do a terrible job.
All you need to do is get that sitting at your computer to create a logo doesn’t inherently mean you will fail. You will fail is the meaning you made up in your mind. You can’t draw any conclusions for sure about the future from the event itself. You made it up.
When you get that the meaning is only in your mind, it will dissolve.
Love,Morty
1. I’m afraid to sew on my silk jacket.
2. What if it doesn’t turn out? What if I spent a lot of money and ruin it? What if I don’t like it?
3. I will know if I like it or not, I’ll go on to another project, I’ll ask for advice, I’ll learn from the experience.
4. I’m trying something new. I’ve had lots of success in this area before. It could turn out to be great. Now I’m curious.
5.Now I feel like exploring and seeing how it turns out?
6. I feel relief, whew.
Hi Marilyn,
It appears that you applied the process effectively and dissolved the occurring. Congratulations.
Now keep doing this in all areas of your life, all the time.
Love, Morty
Avoiding things that are important to me, is something very common for me. I am an expert in avoiding.
So it was great to think of the Questions and Answers. My answers to what if’s (I fail, I succeed, etc.) are way too negative and extreme.
After realising this, It gives me more internal calm to see the situtation as it is and also motivation to do something, since I see it more clear now: what is happening is that nothing is happening. Is just not moving. So let’s do something.
Hi H,
When you make a really clear distinction between the event and the meaning you give the event that exists only in your mind, the meaning dissolves.
Love,Morty
I have been putting off the steps necessary to do research regarding starting my own business–making iPhone apps. After watching this video I went from 0 hours a day to 4 hours a day working towards this goal. I’ve currently hit a technical blockade, but this is no where near as hindering as trying to overcome a blockade that wasn’t real. This next puzzle is one I can solve. Thanks Morty.
Justin
Hi Justin,
Congratulations. It appears that you used the process effectively. Now keep using the Lefkoe Occurring Process on all issues, all the time.
Love, Morty
1. Some action I have been avoiding. Doing a presentation at work when it is my turn.
2. What-ifs that are in my way. What if I panic and screw up the presentation?
3. Occurrings related to the what-if question. I’ll be embarrassed. I’ll be a laughing stock. People will be annoyed with me. I dont have any credibility. I’ll panic. I’ll never be comfortable speaking in front of groups of people. I’ll be a failure. I’ll be a nervous wreck. My weaknesses will be exposed. No one is interested in what I am saying. People think I am a bad person. People will think I am pathetic. People will think I am an idiot. My feelings will be hurt.
4. What’s really happening right now? It’s my turn at work to give the presentation in two days.
5. Distinguish between reality and meaning. I have at least 3 presentations under my belt and have some experience. I cannot predict how I will feel. I cannot control how others see me.
6. Whether my feelings dissolve. I feel less apprehensive and am kinda eager to see how it turns out.
Hi Deborah,
It seems like you started using the process. All you have to do is make a clear distinction between the event (doing a presentation) and the meaning you give it (I’ll panic and screw it up, etc.).
Can you see that the meaning is not inherent in the event, it’s only in your mind? You can’t make any predictions for sure from the event.
This is not about talking yourself out of your occurring, but recognizing that you made it up, that it isn’t the truth. At which point it will dissolve.
Love,Morty
What a boost to get a personal reply from you. Thanks so much.
There is a new age religous church I have been thinking about attending for about a year now. I keep thinking about it and some how come up with all these excuses why I shouldn’t attend a meeting. l. I was raised a Protestent. 2. Will I fit in? 3. Maybe they are all physic and I’m not so I won’t fit in. 4. Will they like me?
Seriously, I actually have myself talked out of going for even one evening and when I ask myself is this really true what they will think and what will happen the answer is NO. I’m just dreaming all this up and in reality I will probably have a very nice time so what is my hesitation. I have none now. I will attend. Thank you!
Hi Norma,
It appears that you were successful.
You can always dissolve your occurring when you make a clear distinction between events and how they occur for you.
Keep at it.
Love, Morty
1. Notice some action that you’ve been avoiding…I need to do my timesheets…overdue since Feb 15th
2. See if there are any “What if’s” that are in your way…What they don’t like the job I am doing? I am trying so hard but not really getting anywhere?
3. Find the occurrings relating to those “What if’s” by answering the “What if” questions. Your answers to these questions are additional occurrings…What if I have done all this work and they don’t want to pay me? What if they don’t think they picked the right consultant?
4. Notice the reality of the situation. What’s really happening? Right now…I am not turning in proof of my work. I am stuck not wanting to fill out hours of paperwork.
5. Distinguish between what is actually happening in the physical world and your occurrings, the meaning you are giving the events that exists only in your mind. I have not done the paperwork & tracking so that I can get paid! I feel like they don’t think I am good enough or my work is good enough because they have not paid me…that is my bad occurring…and my bank account is really not happy about it…
6. Take note of whether your feelings dissolve or not and post your results below. My feelings of anxiety dissolved about 89% or so…I still feel like the unknown is coming to get me…my bank account is the same sad number…but I did just do 3 timesheets for 6 weeks of work & it only took 15 minutes…although I have been dreading it for over a month…now I need to apply this to other paperwork…maybe I just have a paperwork or authority allergy?
Hi Anna,
It looks like you almost did it.
Make a clear distinction between the events (I have a time sheet to fill out) and the meaning you are giving it (they won’t want to pay me, they will think they hired the wrong person). Can you get that the event has no inherent meaning? That the meaning exists only in your mind? When you get that you made up the meaning, that the event has no inherent meaning, the occurring will dissolve,along with any feelings caused by the occurring.
Love, Morty
I keep at it and it works!
Hi Rosemarie,
Congratulations. It does work. Keep using it all the time, every day.
Love, Morty
1. Notice some action that you’ve been avoiding
I have been avoiding putting my car on a website to sell it.
2.See if there are any “What if’s” that are in your way…
What if I don’t get the price I want for it, further occurring ‘I’ll have to sell it for less’
What if no one buy’s it, further occurring ‘I’ll look stupid for putting it on the website’
What if I need my car for an emergency, further occurring i’ll have to take the bus the bus takes for ever to get to places and it’s so inconvenient.
4. Notice the reality of the situation. What’s really happening?
What’s really happening is I’m sitting by my computer putting my car on a website to sell it
5.Distinguish between what is actually happening in the physical world and your occurrings, the meaning you are giving the events that exists only in your mind
Yes I see that the meaning is only in my mind and is not inherently in the situation.
6.Take note of whether your feelings dissolve or not and post your results below
Feelings of anxiety have significantly reduced!!
Thanks morty
P.s can you anwser my 1st assignment so that I can get the gist if I’m correct or not.
Thanks again!!
Hi Kirk,
The feelings will disappear totally when you’ve made a really clear distinction between the event and the meaning you gave it.
Try again.
Love, Morty
P.S. I’m trying to comment on as many as I can.
I live in Denmark and my only one daughter is living in Spain with her husband and 3 children.
For many years that I have the desire to live closer to her, but I have many explanations and meanings about what could happen if I go to Spain. Like, would I become a burden to my family? Could my son in law become jealous of me ? Would I feel alone? Would I destroy my relationship with my family/daughter because I have bad temper? Would I feel rejected? would also my life suffering become a motive to conflicts?
All those questions create fear in me, therefore I’m still living away from my family, I’m single, struggling with money, feeling frustrated and unhappy, because I’m not beeing able to take a decision of what could make me happy and/both my family. I can see that what keeps me stuck is the meaning I give the occrring.
Hi Maria,
It is good that you understand that the meaning has kept you stuck.
Now make a clear distinction between the event (thinking about going to live closer to my daughter in Spain) and the meaning you are giving it (I’ll be a burden, etc.). Can you see that the event has no inherent meaning? That you can’t know anything for sure about the future? That the meaning is only in your mind? When you get that, the meaning will dissolve totally, along with any feelings caused by the meaning.
Love,Morty
Hi Morty,
Nice videos! I’ve learnt a lot. Thanks!
Below is my assignment:
1. I’ve been wanting to go for a medical check for the longest time, but it has been pushed back again and again.
2. What if the medical result doesn’t turn out positively i.e. some forms of sickness or terminal diseases?
3. I would spend a lot of money and time in curing the sickness. I would not be able to continue with my work and part time studies. I would struggle financially…my savings would be wiped off. I may not be able to live very long and enjoy the things and people around me.
4. I’m too busy with my work and studies to research for medical check timing. Some of my relatives passed away from some form of sickness.
5. I see that there’s no inherent meaning in doing the medical check up. My occurring creates fear in me that makes me procrastinate.
6. Yes, the fear goes away.
Hi Yong,
Yes, it really does work. Now keep using the process in other areas of your life, every day.
Love, Morty
I chose getting my website up and running. I had changed over to a new host company and I had problems getting the website up and running on the new host. I have actually put off working on it since the end of January after I ran into problems. After going through your exercise, I realized that I was afraid of looking stupid, getting yelled at, and of not being capable. I also identified that my parents were actually trying to help me be the best I could be by helping me be better in their minds so I could be successful. When I went back to get the website up and running, I was unable to make the call. Then I had dreams about it and upset all night. There must be something I’m still missing. I will continue to work though it. It holds me back in every area of life. I get things right up to the finishing point and then quit.
Hi Jennifer,
Can you make a clear distinction between the event (moving your website to a new host) and the meaning you are giving it (I will look stupid, etc.)? If you have correctly identified the meaning you have given this event and make a clear distinction, the occurring will dissolve.
Maybe you don’t have the correct meaning???
Love, Morty
Once again, I feel like I must be missing something/doing this incorrectly somehow, but here’s my best shot:
1. Action I’ve been avoiding: this yearly cleaning project
2. What if’s: “What if I can’t get it right – again? What if I’m too tired to complete the task? What if I end up mismanaging my time and not prioritizing properly (again) and pushing and stressing at the last minute, as in years past? What if I NEVER get it right?”
3. What’s REALLY happening, right now: Nothing. I have a job to do and I’m not doing it. Days pass and I move closer to my deadline with nothing to show for it – making the job harder for myself and setting up a near guarantee of a replay of years past.
4. What’s REALLY happening in the real world, see #3 above; I’m procrastinating, avoiding, pushing off the job I need to do.
The MEANING I give it: I’m going to end up in the same predicament as in years past. I stink at doing this, I’m not cut out for this, I’m too old, too tired, too scatter-brained, to inefficient.
5. What feelings? Tired, discouraged, overwhelmed, intimated (by the task at hand)? Didn’t feel them so strongly when i started; don’t feel them any more or less strongly; haven’t shifted at all. Actually if anything i feel more strongly – I want to go lie down where i didn’t when i started this.
I must be doing this wrong.
Hi LJ,
Make a clear distinction between the event (I have a yearly cleaning to start) and how it occurs to you (I won’t do it right). Can you see that I won’t do it right is not in the world, it is a meaning in your mind? That the event has no inherent meaning? You don’t know for sure how it will turn out. You think that you will not do it right is a fact. Can you see that it is a projection, a meaning that exists only in your mind?
When you make that distinction clear, the meaning will dissolve along with any feelings caused by the occurring.
Love, Morty
1. The action I have been avoiding is to take the next steps towards moving out.
2. The biggest “what if’s” are: What if I can’t find what I want? What if I move somewhere and I don’t like it?
3. If I can’t find what I want, then I won’t be able to move out and I will be stuck. If I move somewhere I don’t like, then I will be stuck there indefinitely.
A. I have fear, dread, and anxiety about moving.
B. I have told myself that moving is stressful, hard, and expensive. I have also said I can’t do this by myself.
C. Reality is its not moving time yet. I am looking into possibilities. The possibilities are very nice properties. I can move when it is time and I can ask for help. I can choose my attitude. I can find deals to help with expenses.
D. Feelings are significantly dissolved/eliminated.
4. Reality is I have two places I would love to move to. I can choose my attitude for moving. I can continue by filling out additional paperwork and making follow up calls.
5. The meaning I’m giving is that moving is stressful, hard, expensive, and I can’t handle it w/o my spouse. Reality is I really don’t know how this move will be, it hasn’t happened yet. It can be fun, exciting, energizing and enjoyable. I can move, find deals, and ask for help if/when needed.
6. Feelings of dread, fear, and anxiety are dissolved. There is more internal space for peace and planning. I am more open and eager to take the next steps and did in fact make a follow up call.
Thank you.
Hi Yevette,
If the feelings dissolve, then the occurring did also. When you make a clear distinction between events and how they occur for you, the occurring dissolves along with any feelings the occurring caused.
Congratulations.
Love,Morty
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